I had become a pot of aspartaam.

I had become a pot of aspartaam. and by doing so I was creating cancer in self and others,

Not cancer as in physical illness called cancer but still a growth of pollution. I sweetened my words. Biggest problem by doing so I found was that I suppressed emotions within which were damaging my physical body.

Second thing by doing that aspartaam thing, I felt false, not real even more after doing so. Which in turn made even more tension with my body. I ended up in a circle I did not see how I could get out. Until Ozay puts his finger into my whirlwind which made it possible for me to see how I went about life and what other choice there was.

It is not about speaking truth as we think it is it? First we have to know truth, first we have to become truth, this is the whole point. How can we speak truth if we do not know it, have become it.

If we think we know, and start ventilating our emotions upon the other we will do harm without a doubt. What do others have to do with our emotions? We have created those emotions the other did not do that for us. Yes, they mirror our self back without knowing that they are doing that, but it is the I that created the emotion through concepts formed in mind.

Why tell the other about it?

Let me share an experience with you. Ozay works many hours on the internet. Many men and women talk to Ozay. Most of them are just looking to be stimulated in any way or form. They speak the words they have read out of books but they do not walk the walk.

I started observing within myself that I felt jealous, jealous of women talking to Ozay. Sending Ozay photos etc and the posture of body spoke many stories.

Ok am I in that situation to go over Ozay and speak the truth? Yes! if I need to yes! But lets have a closer look. If I say to Ozay, "listen Ozay I really feel jealous about you talking to all those women" Then yes that is the truth from where I stand at that moment. But it is not complete is it? Because what do I try to do by telling Ozay about my jealousy?

Is he expected by me, to stop talking to those women?
Is he expected by me, to ease my jealousy by telling me how much he loves me and that he would never do anything to hurt me?

I looked at all of this within myself. yes I told Ozay about the process I was going through after I had done my inner reasoning.

My reasoning brought me here:

Why do I feel jealous?
I feel jealous because I am afraid Ozay might leave for another woman.

Why am I afraid of Ozay leaving?
I will feel alone, I will feel hurt of being rejected, replaced.

What is it that gets hurt by rejection, etc.
My ego, my personality.

Right, well that is not what I am is it now?
No.

Where comes that fear from? fear of being alone?
Division.

Division of what?
Division of me and him. us and them. life and death.

Is there a me and him?
No.

Is there a us and them?
NO.

Is there a life and death?
NO.

etc. I keep going until I reach zero point.
I found this very difficult to do. I just had no clue how to ask question and how to see the answers.

So instead of telling the other about this or that, I do my inner reasoning, contemplation and meditation. This is a very strong cocktail without any aspartaam whatsoever.

Instead of trying to change the other around me, to put upon the other my problems, my emotions, my needs, my wants, I took responsibility. I created it all, so I can also uncreated it.

I did speak to Ozay. First I would speak to him at the moment I felt the jealousy. Ozay would then paint out to me the path to liberation.
Then I would speak afterwards to Ozay telling him all about the insights I had come to.

To start with my motivation to tell Ozay about what I had come to was to boost my ego by showing Ozay how well I did. Ozay of course saw right thru all motive for speaking to him. Again he would paint out to me the path to liberation.

Now I do no longer speak about Ozay about my inner truth. It is just there now available each moment I become aware.

No longer the need to speak about this or that emotion.

Speaking the truth can as Ozay already said only be done to those who are ready. We do not give pearls to pigs. Or you do not give meat to cows and grass to tigers. They would both die.

So before we can start speaking the truth we need to know truth.

When we speak of speaking the truth we do not speak about ventilating mind concepts, believes, ideals, morals, etc.

There is a VERY big difference!!!!